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Real Life Inside the Circle
Real families live real lives filled with growth, questions, challenges, and moments of connection. Real Life in the Circle is a space where we share honest conversations, practical guidance, and supportive reflections that help families feel seen, understood, and empowered in their everyday journeys.
Maternal Trauma is Real: Healing Beyond the Birth Story
When people think about pregnancy and childbirth, they often picture baby showers, decorating the nursery, first kicks, and a joyous celebration. While these moments are real, they do not tell the whole story.
For some mothers, the journey into motherhood includes fear, grief, uncertainty, loss, medical complications, isolation, or experiences that leave emotional wounds long after the physical recovery has ended.
And yet, mothers carry those experiences quietly.
During PTSD Awareness Month, I want to create space for conversation that is not always easy to have: maternal trauma.
What is Maternal Trauma?
Maternal trauma refers to emotional or psychological distress that can occur during pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum, pregnancy loss, infant loss, fertility challenges, or other experiences related to becoming a parent.
Trauma is not defined solely by what happened. It is also shaped by how an experience was felt and processed.
Two mothers may experience similar circumstances and leave with very different emotional outcomes. What feels manageable to one person may feel overwhelming or traumatic to another.
Maternal trauma can stem from:
- A challenging or emergency birth
- Pregnancy complications
- Premature birth or NICU experiences
- Pregnancy loss or infant loss
- Feeling dismissed, ignored, or unheard by providers
- Unexpected medical interventions
- Pregnancy or postpartum mental health challenges
- Lack of support during pregnancy or after birth
- Experiences that leave a mother feeling powerless, frightened, or alone
Sometimes trauma is connected to a single event. Other times, it develops from a series of experiences that gradually take an emotional toll.
The Trauma We Don’t Always Talk About
Not all trauma is dramatic.
Sometimes trauma looks like leaving a medical appointment with unanswered questions.
Sometimes it looks like smiling in public while carrying grief in private.
As a mother who experienced a preterm birth and periods of isolation from community support, I understand how quickly motherhood can become overwhelming. While every mother’s story is unique, many of us know what it feels like to need support and not know where to find it.
That reality is one of the reasons Circle of Luna was created.
Trauma is Not a Reflection of Strength
One of the most harmful messages mothers often receive is that because they survived something difficult, they should simply move on from it.
Surviving and healing are not the same thing.
Needing support does not mean you are weak.
Seeking help does not mean you are failing.
Talking about your experience does not mean you are dwelling on the past.
Healing requires courage.
Some of the most resilient mothers choose to acknowledge their pain and allow themselves to receive support.
What Healing Can Look Like
Healing is not linear.
For some mothers, healing comes through therapy.
For others, it comes through community, faith, support groups, journaling, advocacy, trusted friendships, or simply having someone listen without judgment.
Healing may mean:
- Telling your story for the first time
- Learning more about your experience
- Setting boundaries
- Practicing self-compassion
- Connecting with other mothers
- Asking for help
- Giving yourself permission to grieve
Healing does not require you to forget what happened.
It allows you to move forward without carrying the weight alone.
Let’s Continue the Conversation
If you feel comfortable sharing, I invite you to reflect on one question:
Looking back, what kind of support do you believe could have strengthened your birth and postpartum experience?
Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, send a message, or simply take a moment to reflect on your own journey.
At Circle of Luna, we believe that healing begins when mothers feel seen, heard, and supported.
You do not have to carry this story alone.
June 12th, 2026 at 12:02 pm
As I reflect on both pregnancies I had, I have realized that with each birth the level of support I needed differs so much. With my first, she was born ten weeks early and I delivered her a week before my 90 day probational period was up for my new job. As a result, I had to take a two week maternity leave and come back to work since I would not have been on paid leave. During that time, I could have benefited greatly from some kind of paid leave for special exceptions so I could have focused more on my postpartum healing while also processing life with a newborn who wasn’t able to come home with me for the first 98 days of her life. Also, with work, it was difficult for me to stay on a pumping schedule because I was not allowed special time to go pump. I had to do it on my 15min breaks and if I did need extra time, it had to come from my actual pto time. Having a special lottery of time for mothers to use for situations like this would be very beneficial and would have encouraged me to breastfeed longer. With my second born, it was during Covid so I was not able to get the level of support I needed due to travel restrictions. With my second, I felt the support I needed was more physical and emotional. My husband was active duty at the time who had just completed his first deployment and I was still new to the area we PCS’d to. We were navigating various different emotions while also dealing with a pandemic. Had we had more resources available to help us navigate all our challenges, it could have alleviated some of the stress.
June 12th, 2026 at 3:11 pm
Having maternity leave longer than 2 weeks would of strengthened my postpastrum experience. The separation anxiety from my baby was bad.
June 14th, 2026 at 12:12 pm
Looking back, I believe having more emotional and financial support would have made a big difference in my birth and postpartum journey. Having my first two children while I was still in high school, I was trying to figure out motherhood while still growing up myself. I often felt like I had to carry everything on my own, and that pressure followed me into raising my four children as a single mom. More guidance about postpartum recovery, mental health, and balancing motherhood could have helped me feel less overwhelmed. I also think having a stronger village, community, or even support groups would have made the journey feel less isolating. Even though it was hard, those experiences made me stronger, more resilient, and shaped the mother I am today.
June 15th, 2026 at 9:33 am
Looking back, I feel very fortunate that I had a healthy pregnancy, supportive doctors, and a positive hospital experience overall. One area where I could have used more support was after giving birth. I worked in a hospital at the time, but the hospital I worked for did not provide enough maternity leave to fully recover, adjust to motherhood, and bond with my daughter without the stress of returning to work so quickly.
Another challenge was breastfeeding. My daughter had difficulty latching, and while I know the nurses were trying to help, I sometimes felt overwhelmed by the pressure during an already emotional and exhausting time. In those moments, I think more patience, reassurance, and understanding would have made a big difference.
Overall, I believe stronger postpartum support including adequate paid maternity leave, compassionate breastfeeding guidance, and more emphasis on a mother’s emotional well-being would have made my transition into motherhood even smoother.
June 15th, 2026 at 11:23 am
I was 22 years old and pregnant as first time mother. I really could have benefited from maternal health education, medical advocacy and a more personable experience with my medical provider. I often felt my appointments were rushed. I ultimately “had” to have a c section under general anesthesia because my daughter was breech. That news traumatized me and still I felt rushed out of my appointment that day. Had I known then what I know now, I would have advocated more for myself and demanded more care and effort from the medical team.
July 27th, 2026 at 4:55 am
Looking back, I don’t think I needed someone to fix everything. I just needed to not feel so alone.
I found out I was pregnant with my oldest son just a few weeks after my husband deployed. I had to tell him I was pregnant through an email, and he didn’t make it home until 10 days before my due date. We had just gotten married that January, moved from NYC to Fort Bragg, and I was trying to figure out adulthood, marriage, pregnancy, and life in a brand new place all at once. I didn’t even know how to drive yet, so I had to grow up really fast.
Pregnancy felt isolating. I didn’t have a village around me, and I even traveled back to New York alone while pregnant because I needed support. Then, just days before I was induced, my grandmother passed away. I was grieving, overwhelmed, and incredibly vulnerable.
My birth experience wasn’t what I had envisioned either. After being two weeks overdue and making very little progress, my doctor kept pushing for a C-section. I had clearly said I didn’t want one, but it felt like my wishes weren’t really being heard. I remember hearing, “Prep her for a C-section,” and feeling like the decision had already been made for me. Thankfully, by the grace of God, my body finally started dilating, and I was able to have the vaginal delivery I had hoped for.
I also wish my birth had felt more personal. There were several nurses and students in the room, and I remember one student looking visibly uncomfortable while watching me deliver. In one of the most vulnerable moments of my life, I would have preferred a smaller, more intimate environment. Thankfully, the nursing staff themselves were incredibly kind and supportive, and I’ll always be grateful for that.
Emotionally, I was carrying so much. My family was consumed with funeral arrangements after losing my grandmother, and my husband and I weren’t in the best place. I didn’t even let him into the delivery room until it was almost time to push. While I labored through contractions waiting for my epidural, he slept. At the time, it only added to how alone I already felt.
Looking back, the support that would have changed everything wasn’t more gifts. My baby shower blessed us with everything my son could have needed. What I was missing was support for me. I needed emotional support. Someone to advocate for me when I felt unheard. Someone to remind me that my voice mattered during labor. Someone to check in on how I was coping with the loneliness, the grief, and the weight of becoming a new mother.
Sometimes the greatest gift you can give a mother isn’t something for the baby. It’s making sure she’s cared for, too.
No mother should have to navigate one of the biggest moments of her life feeling like she’s carrying it all by herself.